Are you too hidden in your shell?

Hello Darling,

They say college is the time you are supposed to experience new things and find out who you truly are as a person. But what about us shy girls? What about those of us who do not think we are ready to branch out? It is definitely scary and can seem traumatizing at times. It also doesn't help when you are ready to try something different but are afraid because it is so far out of your comfort zone.

I have always been the quiet girl. I would talk a lot when I was around my family and close friends, but when it came to school and social gatherings, I barely ever made a peep. To this day, people in my Classes of 20 students or less don’t believe me when I tell them I sat right next to them for an entire semester. At two years old, I was so talkative that my mother could not shut me up. So why at 20 is it still so hard for me to do something as simple as talking to more than one person at a time without feeling overwhelmed?

This will be my third year at Howard and I have not had any summer internships. The main reason I have not applied is because I’m too scared to be interviewed. I know that I have a personality that attracts many people, however stepping out of my comfort zone often makes me extremely anxious—and not in a good way. I am missing out on great opportunities because I let this big, heavy shell on my back block me from new experiences.

I have come to regret being too hidden in my shell. Looking back on high school, I was very popular, but I never had a set group of friends. To this day, I only hang out with two people who attended my high school. I also have never had a real best friend. I realize now that it is because I never came out of my shell far enough to allow people to really get to know me. I used to think there was something wrong with me—maybe I just was not a likable person. It didn't occur to me that I was holding back. I was so sure I had broken out of that in middle school. My problem was that I was never opening up to anyone.

So while I thought we were good friends, we were really nothing more than acquaintances. I bet if I asked one of my high school friends what my favorite colors are they would struggle with the answer. Mind you, my favorite colors have been the same since preschool.

If I could give young girls one piece of advice, it would be to open up. Don’t try to keep everything to yourself because in the end, you can’t fix all your problems alone. This is good to master at a young age, but it can be done in college. It will definitely be difficult and take a lot of work, but in the end it will be beneficial in so many ways. Not only will you try things you have never tried before, but if you can go from being shy to confident and outgoing, you will realize that you can really do anything you set your mind to.

And remember, ladies, Stay C.L.A.S.S.Y ;)

--Indigo Pearson

Know your worth!

Hello Darling,

You are fearfully and wonderfully made and never forget that. Way too often we as females judge our beauty based on our outer appearance. We treat clothes, shoes, makeup and weave as true beauty. Moreover we judge our fellow sisters based on outer appearances.

For many years I had low self-esteem because I based my beauty based on the clothes I wore and I believed that make up made me more beautiful. I allowed people to get in my ear and tell me that I was cute or cool because of the clothes I wore. I hated the way I looked because I thought material things made me look beautiful. Moreover, it seemed to me that all the cute guys liked the girls with latest fashion fads and longest hair.

Now-a-days I see so many girls having the same self-esteem issues like I used to have. Many girls now think that having on short and revealing clothing with long weave and makeup makes you beautiful. They have been conned by the media and friends that beauty depends on what you have on and the money that is in your pockets. Ladies I am here to tell you that that is not the truth. True beauty lies in your personality. What you have on doesn't make you beautiful.

Know that you are beautiful no matter what you may have on and do not allow anyone to tell you otherwise. By the grace of God I know understand what true beauty is. I no longer allow the media or people to make me feel worthless. KNOW YOUR WORTH LADIES. Humanity can try to take other things from you but they cannot take your worth unless you give it to them.

And remember, ladies, Stay C.L.A.S.S.Y ;)

--Brionna Mayo

The Balancing Act

Hello Darling, 

In light of the new school year, new internships and opportunities, new friends, and the ever so discussed “cuffing season; it’s the perfect occasion to talk about balance. There’s a time for everything, but unfortunately there’s hardly ever enough time to do everything. 

In my first semester at Howard University, I was forced to learn the importance of balance...the hard way, but hopefully you all won’t have to. As a freshman, I wanted to do everything; every club, every org, every party...I didn’t want to miss out on anything. But trying to do everything, soon led to me being able to do almost nothing. I didn’t have time to give my 100% effort to anything I was involved to, so I started slacking off. I spent less time with my friends, boyfriend, my grades didn’t always reflect my academic capability, and I hardly showed up to most of my organization’s meetings. When the semester ended, I felt drained and unaccomplished. I was working hard, but I couldn’t see the investments and it was at that point I decided to try a new “balancing act”. 

This act comes with four simple, but important rules to help you have easier transitions and what I’ve seen to be a more fulfilling life experience. 

Rule #1: PRIORITIZE

It’s all about priorities. Knowing what you want will better assist you in mapping out how you will get there...in some cases this will involve taking the road less traveled, but you get the point. As a student, academics should be at the top of your priority list! Doing this will open doors for networking, career/internship opportunities, and even meeting people with common interests or even struggles. Other necessities such as on or off campus involvement, hanging out with friends, and alike experiences will fall somewhere along this list on the basis of your BETTER judgment.

Rule #2: GOAL SETTING

Goal setting will help you to stay focused. It doesn’t always have to be academic or career oriented, but it should be done. It can be as simple as planning to finish a project by a certain date or making efforts to get a certain amount of sleep per night. 

Rule #3: MAKE A SCHEDULE FOR YOURSELF

Sounds simple enough right? It’s not expected that you stick to this schedule fully, but having one will help you to be more productive. If anything, see it as a friendly reminder to help you avoid wasting time. 

Rule #4: ME-TIME IS ESSENTIAL

Lastly, but probably most importantly, take some time out for yourself. Whether it’s treating yourself to a pedicure, going on a walk, or just listening to music for a few hours; give yourself some time to rest and enjoy life. You deserve it girl! 

If you have any more tips, or find something that helps you keep a nice balance in your life, we’d love to hear it. Stay beautiful, uplifted, and always...CLASSY. 

And remember, ladies, Stay C.L.A.S.S.Y ;)

--Jelicia Diggs

When Overachieving Goes Wrong.

Hello Darling,

My name is Ishtar S. Edwards, I am sophomore transfer Advertising major from the lovely city of New Haven, CT at the prestigious Howard University.  I would like to share with you a life lesson that has allowed me the opportunity to have a greater outlook on life, which is being an overachiever vs. selfish.

This is an imperative lesson I learned after a rough year of rapidly changing family dynamics, emergencies, and a desire to please everyone during my freshmen year at my previous institution. I took on demanding responsibilities and circumstances beyond my control because of my overachieving tendencies. This stressful combination pushed me to a point of breaking down. I soon realized this ugly selfish side of my personality that I hid behind being an overachiever.

My overachieving habits that once enhanced my personality became a clutch. A clutch that allowed me to continue receiving the praise I so desperately needed from my family and friends to validate my life. I selfishly wanted to maintain this image of popularity and perfection, and claimed this all in the name of overachieving. I went as far as forcing myself to pursue a major in a field which I lacked interest just to maintain this image of perfection.  I quickly became overwhelmed with my studies and issues from home. The stress from my personal life combined with the added pressure of being in the collegiate environment had a destructive effect on my academics, mental, and physical health.  It was not until my summer break, that I realized how much time and money I wasted in school pushing myself to the brink to achieve trivial popularity based goals.

An integral part of achieving your goals is remembering to set them with the intention of improving your long-term situation or self. Overachievers are people who continue to set and accomplish goals at a rapid rate with the intent of building their future. They have a high standard of excellence and a passion that keeps them motivated despite the obstacles they may face.

Today, I want you to write your goals with three reasons for each explaining how it can improve your life. Remember, overachieving is not a trend; it is a way of life!

And remember, ladies, Stay C.L.A.S.S.Y ;)

- Ishtar S. Edwards