Are you too hidden in your shell?

Hello Darling,

They say college is the time you are supposed to experience new things and find out who you truly are as a person. But what about us shy girls? What about those of us who do not think we are ready to branch out? It is definitely scary and can seem traumatizing at times. It also doesn't help when you are ready to try something different but are afraid because it is so far out of your comfort zone.

I have always been the quiet girl. I would talk a lot when I was around my family and close friends, but when it came to school and social gatherings, I barely ever made a peep. To this day, people in my Classes of 20 students or less don’t believe me when I tell them I sat right next to them for an entire semester. At two years old, I was so talkative that my mother could not shut me up. So why at 20 is it still so hard for me to do something as simple as talking to more than one person at a time without feeling overwhelmed?

This will be my third year at Howard and I have not had any summer internships. The main reason I have not applied is because I’m too scared to be interviewed. I know that I have a personality that attracts many people, however stepping out of my comfort zone often makes me extremely anxious—and not in a good way. I am missing out on great opportunities because I let this big, heavy shell on my back block me from new experiences.

I have come to regret being too hidden in my shell. Looking back on high school, I was very popular, but I never had a set group of friends. To this day, I only hang out with two people who attended my high school. I also have never had a real best friend. I realize now that it is because I never came out of my shell far enough to allow people to really get to know me. I used to think there was something wrong with me—maybe I just was not a likable person. It didn't occur to me that I was holding back. I was so sure I had broken out of that in middle school. My problem was that I was never opening up to anyone.

So while I thought we were good friends, we were really nothing more than acquaintances. I bet if I asked one of my high school friends what my favorite colors are they would struggle with the answer. Mind you, my favorite colors have been the same since preschool.

If I could give young girls one piece of advice, it would be to open up. Don’t try to keep everything to yourself because in the end, you can’t fix all your problems alone. This is good to master at a young age, but it can be done in college. It will definitely be difficult and take a lot of work, but in the end it will be beneficial in so many ways. Not only will you try things you have never tried before, but if you can go from being shy to confident and outgoing, you will realize that you can really do anything you set your mind to.

And remember, ladies, Stay C.L.A.S.S.Y ;)

--Indigo Pearson