So, who are you?

Hello Darling,

So, one thing that I had a lot of trouble with before was realizing that I cannot be loved or respected by others until I loved and respected myself! I am witnessing this issue in so many other females, and ladies you are not alone! It happens to all of us, trust me! But the sooner you value yourself and know your worth the better! 

Let's start off with dating people. Many times us females think we need to have that "Boo" to make us feel special, and loved, and beautiful, and amazing, etc. but listen, sweetheart, in no way what-so-ever does having a guy define your worth. In fact, before you consider dating someone you should make sure you know your worth so that you don't rely on them to bring you happiness and joy. Been there done that--not fun at all. Trust me that brings you nowhere but to a path of loneliness and depression.

Something that really helped me was taking a break from "talking" to guys. If you aren't confident in who you are ladies, then it makes you vulnerable to having other people define you and that's not okay. You should be able to walk down the street and know who you are! 

People think it's weird that I smile and laugh a lot, but I honestly don't care. Their opinions on who I am really do not matter. You should be able to smile because you are happy and confident with who you are, ladies. Trust me, we are all amazing in our own ways, and I truly mean that!

Something that I want all of you to do is to make a list of everything you like about yourself...it can be anything--your style, your personality traits, your passions, whatever it can be whatever you want! And anytime you ever feel sad or down about who you are I want you to pull out that list and look at it to help you remember just how amazing you are! 

So remember, ladies, NEVER allow yourself for one second to think you should be with a guy to make you feel like you are worth something! You need to raise your self-esteem before being with anyone! Always remember you are amazing because God made you just the way you are (:

And remember, ladies, Stay C.L.A.S.S.Y ;)

--Alyssa Louise McCall

The past is...

Hello Darling,

Okay, so one of the hugest mistakes that I have ever made in my life was allowing my past to have a hold on me. Ladies, please if you ever take anything from this blog, understand the importance of leaving the past in the past.

First off, Ladies, your past does not in any way what-so-ever define who you are. Your past is a book of lessons that you can use to grow from, learn from, and move forward from. 

I started at a young age in allowing my past to control me, and ladies, trust me that did nothing but make me more and more depressed. After a while of doing this I realized that you cannot change your past but you certainly can control your present actions!

Why allow something that you cannot control or change to bring you down? It actually sounds kind of crazy when you really think about it.
For an example, I used to allow the fact that my parents weren't together and I did not have a father-figure in my household to bring me down. Yeah, it did suck not going to the father-daughter dances, not being able to go home to a "daddy" like the average kid in my school, but that was a situation that was out of my control--so why stress over it?

Another thing we need to realize, Ladies is that perfectionism is not really a positive thing. In a world, where there is no such thing as "perfect" why get upset at yourself for not reaching "perfection." This was one of the struggles that I dealt with-- if I did not get the "perfect" grade on a test or paper, if I was not the "perfect" weight or body shape, if I did not do all of my work "perfectly," if I did not have the "perfect" hair, "perfect" this, and "perfect" that. Honestly, pause and think about that. First of all, the Merriam Webster Dictionary says "perfect" is as good as it is possible to be. I was going through my life thinking it was not okay to mess up or make a mistake. I finally found out that it is impossible to never mess up!

I started viewing my "mistakes" as lessons instead of faults because Ladies, at the end of the day, no one is free of ever messing up or making a "mistake." Again, we just need to grow and learn from our mistakes. 

I'm able to look back now and say, “I know not to do this because I did that."

The more we start viewing our past as lessons the better off we will be. Trust me I am speaking from experience! So, the past is not our controller it is our book of lessons. 

And remember, ladies, Stay C.L.A.S.S.Y ;)

--Alyssa Louise McCall

Are you happy and healthy?

Hello Darling,

Something I really want to stress to you this week is the importance of maintaining your health! I don't know about you, but I can get really stubborn sometimes with my health-- whether it's with taking my vitamins or going to the doctors if I'm not feeling well. 

Sometimes I feel us women really try to appear and view ourselves as really strong--there is nothing wrong with that, ladies, but at the end of the day ladies make sure you aren't forgetting your health! For example, if you know that you're anemic then, sweetheart, make sure you are taking your iron pills and eating foods with a lot of iron.  I'm speaking from experience right now! I definitely learned that if you do not take care of yourself there is NO WAY that you can take care of others. I know I forget about that all the time and I constantly see others forgetting about it too!

 Ladies, our health is really important though. Not only can poor health cause you to feel exhausted and make you unable to perform to the best of your abilities, but it also affects your mood! When my iron is really low my body just feels run down, which makes me feel the exact way! Y'all know being tired definitely makes you feel kind of cranky! Well when my iron is really low I get kind of cranky because my body feels exhausted! When you're not as healthy as you should be you're putting your body through A LOT, and ,honey, do not think for one second that you can perform to the best of your abilities and feel as great as you should if you're unhealthy.

Not only do our health decisions effect ourselves but they have an affect on others as well--positively or negatively!

I'll start with a positive example. So, my grammy always checks the amount of cholesterol in her food before she buys it, and watching her do this as I grew up made me do the same thing whenever I am purchasing food at the grocery store!!

Alright and now for the negative. When I was younger, I used to think it was okay for me to skip lunch at school (not okay what-so-ever by the way) and little did I know one of my friends was watching. She started trying to do the same thing as well. 

What we do not realize sometimes is that there is always someone watching and learning from what we do, so we can guide them in either a positive way or a negative way. So, the decisions that you make, doll, are affecting more people than just yourself!  

So, make sure you are making smart health decisions so others can follow in your lead! Be the example you want to see! 

And remember, ladies, Stay C.L.A.S.S.Y ;)

--Alyssa Louise McCall

Is the glass half empty or half-full?

Hello Darling,

One of the largest lessons that I have learned in life is that it is really all about your perspective. I heard a sermon once that reminded us of the “Glass Half-Empty” and the “Glass Half-Full” perspectives. We may not realize this all the time, but our perspectives ultimately have a large effect on our lives! If you are walking around allowing everything to control the way you are feeling then, sweetheart that is not good. Let me break this down with an example, one of the main things that I have figured out in my life. Instead of looking at every “bad thing” that happens as something horrible what’s wrong with viewing it as a lesson or a blessing in disguise?

There have been so many times in my life where friendships or even “love-interests” have just gone completely wrong! And trust me that happens to all of us, and in situations like that we can do one of two things we can either go off, get upset and say “Why Me?” or we can bounce back, keep moving forward, look at the situation as a lesson, and thank God for getting you out of something that you do not need.

Some of you may be saying, “Easier said than done, Alyssa.” But ladies, I am so serious. I used to allow things that I couldn’t control to have an effect on my mood, and trust me that doesn’t lead to anything but depression. There is no point in allowing anything that is out of your control to ruin your day. When you really think about it, it’s kind of silly. I remember one time when I was younger I accidentally dropped my coffee that I made myself before school. When I say I was so upset that morning…I was literally upset. And me being upset that morning made me feel like every other little thing that happened to me that day was horrible. I was honestly walking around pouting and thinking “I am having such a terrible day.” I am honestly laughing as I am writing about this because I am thinking about how silly I was. Honestly, just think of how my day would have gone if instead of me saying “Wahh, I spilt my coffee,” I either quickly made a new one or just said “Whatever, I’ll be more careful next time” and cleaned up the mess.

See the difference?

That one moment could have prevented me from walking around that day pouting about something that really wasn’t that important and possibly bringing down the mood of those around me to me moving on and enjoying my day and of course allowing the people around me to feed off of my happiness.

Really though, just think about that. Praise God I have some amazing friends who put up with me that day because honestly no one wants to surround him or herself with someone negative and miserable. That type of attitude does nothing but drag down the mood of yourself and those around you!  So, next time something little or out of your control happens remember, “Why let anything allow you to have a bad day or to bring down your mood?” Is it worth it? In the situations that I have been in 99.9% of the time no it was not worth it. So, ladies keep your heads up the glass is half full!

And remember, ladies, Stay C.L.A.S.S.Y ;)

--Alyssa Louise McCall